This Isn't the End; Rather It's the Beginning of Something Greater....

"The true beauty of a struggle isn't the final result; rather it is the
process that it takes to complete that which you set out to accomplish."Thank you Nicaragua for teaching me this valuable lesson. I'll miss you, but I know that I'll be back one day....I promise ♥
Hasta Siempre Mi Nicaragüita ♥

Hello Family and Friends! Its DJM back for my final blog about my Central American journey. As some of you might know, I have returned to the United States. By now, I've said my see you later's and I've given my hugs and lasting words of wisdom to those around me. I've danced and partied in the moonlight on some of the best beaches in Central America. I've laughed; I've cried; I've learned how to adapt to a new culture. I've upheld the pillars of scholarship as I have learned so much in the classroom that I will use as a means to deconstruct the stereotypes that pollute our understanding of the events that impact the world in which we live. I've dedicated my time and effort to taking on some of the most challenging endeavors in my life. I've conducted an oral history project; I've learned how to bachata, merengue, salsa, even a little waltz. I've learned how to swim; my sense of appreciation and understanding for different cultures and traditions has improved. I've developed an even bigger passion for music and poetry. I've learned much more than I can ever mention in this blog. Above all of this, I've created friendships and relationships that are sure to last a lifetime. I can now say that I've studied abroad. But not just studied; that I've fully immersed myself in Nicaraguan culture and society. I've lived in Managua, but I've immersed myself in the cultures surrounding Managua in the cities of Carazo, Jinotega, and the Atlantic Coast of Nicaragua. I've worked on a hacienda and I've worked at a nursing home. If you ask me, this study abroad experience presented me with the best of both worlds. It provided me with an opportunity to explore the differences and similarities in Nicaragua that would not seem as blatant to others.

As I reflect on this semester, the reason why I was able to embrace and relish in the beauty of Nicaragua was a combination of the relationships that I've made with the openness of all those involved in this experience to share with me their feelings and opinions about the importance of all things associated with Nicaraguan culture, history, and politics. Unlike many of my peers who were granted the opportunity to travel outside of their host country, our program focused on the importance of learning about Nicaragua. As one would imagine, it is impossible to learn everything about Nicaraguan culture, history, and politics...but I did try. I conversed with my host family; with my new-found friends at UNAN; with my professors; my resident director; and those who lived through the most transformative two decades in Nicaraguan history: The Sandinista Revolution about all things associated with Nicaragua; past, present and future. I've read the works of Ernesto Cardenal and heard the music of the Mejia Godoy family. I've visited the museums and engaged in the conversations about the never-ending fight for freedom and liberty that is on-going in Nicaragua. While there have been differing opinions about how Nicaragua can change, I've been told that it can and WILL change...one day.

And so, I find myself sitting on my bed, a little less than a week removed from the heart of Central America, and yet I struggle with how I should be feeling. While I feel accomplished, I feel lonely. While I feel more intelligent; I feel like a majority of my counterparts don't understand what I've been through. As I glance over at my Nicaraguan flag that sits in the center of my bed, I reflect. I reflect on how I felt back in February and how I feel now. To be truthful, I had the slightest idea how transformative this experience would be. I will admit that I downplayed what Denison, my advisers, and my friends told me about the consequences of studying abroad. Surely they were exaggerating, right? I mean, how much harder could it be to spend time outside of the US? I'd say it’s pretty difficult :-) but I made it. And you can too. I came into the program feeling alone, and left with four new sisters, a second family, and the love of a country that has embraced me openly with intrigue and understanding. I went to Nicaragua without much Spanish experience, and I left with the capacity to engage in conversations about any and everything. I went to Nicaragua without knowing what I would do outside of the classroom. And I learned how to dance, how to hike, and how to swim. I was exposed to extreme wealth and extreme poverty. And for all of the above mentioned, I am forever grateful. As I explained to one of my sisters just before I left Nicaragua, I don't consider my departure from Nicaragua as the end of something; rather I consider it the beginning of something even greater. I consider my departure an opportunity for the next group of students to be transformed by Nicaragua. I consider it an opportunity to help bring justice and peace to a country that has the potential to rise above the stereotypes of poverty and sickness. As I wrote in one of my poems, I STILL BELIEVE. No matter what statistics might say, I STILL BELIEVE. History has demonstrated that the most notable winners usually encountered heartbreaking obstacles before they triumphed. They won because they refused to become discouraged by their defeats. With this, I am encouraged by what the future holds from my dear Nicaragüita and by what it holds for its people. And I will make sure that I do all in my power to help make this dream a reality. It’s the least that I can do for all that it has done for me in the short five months that I spent there. Instead of ending this blog with a quote, I will end it with one of the last poems that I wrote while I was in Nicaragua.

NICARAGUA

Never thought that I’d be sad to leave

I mean, after all, I had a rough time adjusting

Culture shock has never been so overwhelming

Adaptation is never easy, but it’s always

Rewarding to know that you have the capacity to do so

Accomplishing what you had set out to complete

Granting yourself the opportunity to grow while

Using the skills that you’ve learned from your life experiences

As a means to deconstruct stereotypes to make the world a better place

To a country that has openly embraced me

With an admiration and fascination of a culture unlike their own

That has taught me much more about the importance to endure

Whatever struggle that I might go through

So here’s to Nicaragua for all that I’ve experienced

I salute you and promise to do the best that I can

In deconstructing the stereotypes that have polluted your culture

In maintaining the dreams of those who have fought so hard to pave the way for other Nicaraguans

To a country that first loved me; I promise to you

That I will dedicate my life to ensuring that one message remains true

And that message will forever be that I love you

Mi Nicaragüita

So I stress to you that this is not the final time that I’ll think about Nicaragua….that is rather impossible to do. For I have come to love Nicaragua; and that’s not something that can be erased by anything. While I might forget a conversation or two, I’ll never forget the fun times that I shared with my host family or with my friends. Never shall I forget the feeling of being a gringa in my classes at UNAN, but never will I forget the openness that my classmates and professors embraced me with combined with their admiration and fascination of a culture unlike their own. Never shall I forget waking up to bachata or merengue music, while being greeted by the smell of gallo pinto and the smile of my doña. Never shall I forget watching the buses packed with people pass me by, nor the obvious passion for music that was omnipresent during my semester in Managua. And most of all, never shall I forget the feeling of accomplishment that I experienced when I could finally understand my host family and neighbors, or whenever I learned something new. While completing my semester was the most difficult thing that I’ve done, I bask in the fact that it was indeed a beautiful, difficult, rewarding dream and that I was able to share my journey with you all. Although this blog can never adequately encapsulate the entirety of my experience, it is my hope that it helped to paint a clear picture of my semester in Central America. So I don't want you to consider this a good-bye blog, but rather a see you later one :-)

"The true beauty of a struggle isn't the final result; rather it is the
process that it takes to complete that which you set out to accomplish." Thank you Nicaragua for teaching me this valuable lesson. I'll miss you, but I know that I'll be back one day....I promise ♥
Hasta Siempre Mi Nicaragüita ♥

Hasta Siempre,

DJM

Adaptation is Never Easy, but it's Always an Accomplishment, Rewarding, and Thought-Provoking....

"Words have as much power are you are willing to give them."

Hello blog followers! Its DJM back for another blog about my life down here in the heart of Central America. As the semester wraps up, the work begins to pile up. That's the reason why these blogs have become a bi-weekly affair. It's hard to believe that by this time next month, I'll be back on North American soil. More so than that, I am surprised by how much I've adapted to Nicaraguan culture (not that it's a bad thing). Things that initially bothered me no longer seem as bothersome. I've become accustomed to the curious stares and warm smiles that I've received while walking or talking on the bus or in the streets. I've become a part of my Nicaraguan family. I've learned so much; seen so much. While I am content with the comfort that I feel right now, I dare not write this blog as if the process has been individualistic. I have received incessant encouragement and support from those who know me best, and for that, I am forever grateful. While I've had my days, I am constantly reminded of the song lyrics of Lady Gaga..."Just Dance, It'll be Okay." And that I've done. I've danced when I was emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted. I've danced when all I've wanted to do is cry and be melancholy. I've danced whenever I've learned something new or trended a new path. I've danced myself through every situation that has presented itself to me. Now, I know what you're thinking. I haven't literally danced about in circles at every occasion. A dance is not always the manifestation of the swinging of one's hips, or the rhythm in one's feet. It can be a warm smile, a hug, an emotional conversation; anything that motivates you to continue pressing on. Life is like a dance; in that you have to keep on moving as a means to maintain the experiences and situations that life takes you through, or as I call it: the rhythm that dictates your dance. The capacity to maintain that rhythm is determined by how hard you are willing to work to complete that of which you set out to accomplish. In my case, the rhythm that I've had to maintain here in Nicaragua has been in my capacity to adapt to a culture unlike my own. The necessity to adapt to the Nicaraguan lifestyle has proven difficult, but rewarding at the same time. While I will admit that this journey has been difficult, I'll leave you with a quote that has been my motivation to keep on pressing and pushing; or dancing through my semester here in Nicaragua.

"To get through the hardest journey, we need take only one step at a time, but we must keep on stepping."

Les Mando Abrazos y Paz,

DJM

Battle-Tested; Yet Still Standing :-)

“Don’t wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.”

¿Tonces mis amigos, familia, profesores, etc? It’s DJM coming back for another blog about this Central American journey. Not much has been going in my life over here in the heart of the Americas. As some of you know, most universities are taking finals at this point or have finished their semester. While that is not the case for me, I have been working on several papers here at UNAN. To tell you the truth, I haven’t had much to do as far as schoolwork is concerned. The system of education down here is centered on group work, so that pretty much means that I haven’t been doing much. While I should be boiling over with excitement, I found myself in an interesting place that has me wanting to do more. We haven't taken many excursions since our last trip to the Atlantic Coast of Nicaragua. We went to the House of Carlos Mejia Godoy for a concert and some much needed fellowship last Friday night. While I have always been fascinated with Nicaraguan music, I continue to admire the beauty of the music here in Central America. As I sat there and listened to the music, I never once had to question the passion or pride in the music, nor the musicians. Other than that, I have been working to improve my Spanish, and while it has been difficult at times, I can truly say that I'm proud of the progress that I've made. I have also been working through jobs applications, internship paperwork, and all things associated with this upcoming year. As my time here in Managua begins to draw closer to the end, I am reminded of how much I've experienced, felt, seen, and thought. To be truthful, I can't even begin to put into words all the things that have occurred during my semester here in Nicaragua. The people, places, and things have impacted the way that I view the world, as well as granted me the opportunity to engage in conversations about race and stereotypes. Whether it be with my host family, at my volunteer job, or at UNAN, the task has been equally difficult. I think that the only way that I can adequately express how I've felt during my time here is that I've been battle-tested, but I remain standing; standing on the promises that these experiences will better the way that I live and think. To get through the hardest journey we need take only one step at a time, but we must keep on stepping. This has served as a constant reminder as I have lived my life as a gringa in a country that has embraced my openness and willingness to explore new terrain. As always, I will leave you with a quote:

"Letting go doesn't mean giving up... it means moving on. It is one of the hardest things a person can do. Starting at birth, we grasp on to anything we can get our hands on, and hold on as if we will cease to exist when we let go. We feel that letting go is giving up, quitting, and that as we all know is cowardly. But as we grow older we are forced to change our way of thinking. We are forced to realize that letting go means accepting things that cannot be. It means maturing and moving on, no matter how hard you have to fight yourself to do so."

Paz y Bien :-)
Hasta Siempre,
DJM